2 December 2017

Inaccuracy

Research by Louann Brizendine at the University of California found that women speak an average of 20,000 words daily compared to only 7,000 words for men. According to Brizendine this means that on average, women talk nearly three times as much as men.

However, I would like to challenge the efficacy of this often cited research finding. The other day I placed small microphones in every room in our house and I even managed to hide a secret microphone in Shirley's favourite handbag with an ingenious word counting app loaded up on her mobile phone. I think it's called "Rabbit".

The results have now been carefully compiled and I can tell you that on the targeted day my wife spoke 95,204 words while I spoke 375 words. As you can see that is not three times as much as me but a massive 285 times more. I suggest that Professor Brizendine should focus more closely on her research and spend less time chattering to her research assistants.

She has published two books - "The Female Brain" and "The Male Brain". With appendices and the substantial index, the former is in four volumes covering a total of 1250 pages. In contrast "The Male Brain" is a slender publication in large type and is just eleven pages long.

16 comments:

  1. Not FAIR! You had the advantage of knowing everything was being counted! Poor Shirley....and another thing, kdhfkajksdhiu yvzcnrnthcovilxfknglkgxflkgnknglk nlaksjhkgj fksjf,dmvkjdsfnn/lksdnlflfknkfnakfgnldfkgglkfflkggalfknklgnlfknakdnknglknklangadkgnlkfnglaknglaknfglakdng So there! haha

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    1. I didn't realise that you were fluent in Albanian Jan!

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  2. " In contrast "The Male Brain" is a slender publication in large type and is just eleven pages long". Ha!!


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    1. Happy to have made you chuckle Jennifer!

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  3. "Analysis of Brain Waves in Professional Politicians." One paragraph on a single page, with the words "greed," "sleazy," and "dishonourable butthead," used at least twice. (I added the proper British "u" just for U, Mr. Pudding.)

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    1. Congratulations on completing your research paper Jan - "Analysis of Brain Waves in Professional Politicians." Did you manage to interview the present incumbent of The White House?

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  4. I'm imagining Shirley's conversations that day:
    "YP, what's wrong today - are you feeling quite all right? You're awfully quiet. Is something bothering you? What are you thinking about? YP? YP???" etc. Meanwhile YP has used duct tape on his mouth to make sure he didn't slip . . .

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    1. My spoken vocabulary includes "Huh?", "Yeah", "No", "Okay", "Thanks" and "Bye". It's all you need to get by.

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  5. I ignore all these idiotic researches...and I wrote an article mentioning my disdain for them the other day.

    Last week I read three universities throughout the world...Pennsylvania, Rio De Janiero and one in Singapore have conducted researches and all three came up with the world-shattering information that flies carry bacteria harmful to humans!! Wow!

    I knew I should have gone to university to further my education!!! I never knew flies carried germs until the other day!! Unbelievable!!!!

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    1. A recent research study from The University of Scunthorpe concluded that there is less traffic on roads at 3am in the morning than at 3pm in the afternoon. Another study from The University of Jimboomba discovered that strawberry-flavoured yogurt is more populat than gooseberry-flavoured yogurt.

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  6. Yer big meany! I can't think of anything nicer to say, so will just repeat yesterday's wave to Shirley, poor love.

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    1. A woman who can't think of anything to say? Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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  7. The person who posted at 7:17pm seems to have a lot to say. Obviously a woman...........

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    1. Sorry. No time to respond to this post as I am shaving my legs.

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  8. Dave and I often find that we sit around the living room for hours saying very little to each other (usually while reading or working on the computer or something). I guess the dynamic doesn't change much even when it's two men!

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    1. The simple beauty of silence is frequently underrated.

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.