18 April 2017

Lesson

As an unashamed Americophile, I am proud that this blog receives lots of visitors from The United States. In fact "Yorkshire Pudding" frequently attracts more American visitors than British. My independent tracking system has even discerned that over the weekend this blog received three late night visits from the Mar-a-Lago estate at Palm Beach, Florida. This is Donald Trump's "southern White House". If my suspicions are correct I would just like to say to the 45th President - you are not welcome here you sporran-headed twerp!

Given the number of American visitors, I think it is an opportune time to provide a free English language lesson. As you may appreciate, I am such a generous fellow! Over the years I have noted a multitude of glaring errors in American use of English. Across the Atlantic Ocean, our shared and precious language has been on the slide for ages and it's nigh time that our American cousins were gently put back on the rails with advice about English from the very home of English - England!

So my American cousins, please study the following chart in order to learn some of the errors of your ways. As soon as you have mastered the correct vocabulary you should begin employing it in everyday communication. Too long hast thou erred - I urge thee to  return to the path of righteousness!
Depending upon response to this post, let's just think of it as Lesson One. There are numerous other lessons waiting in the Yorkshire Pudding pipeline!

37 comments:

  1. Yay!!! Go for it, YP! :)

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    1. Yay! (American) = Hurrah! or Hooray! (British)

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  2. I love it!

    As a little kid I read a lot of English literature for children. As I got older, I would purposely use British spelling in book reports and essays. I don't remember any teacher ever commenting on it!

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    1. They should have given you "The Pupil of the Year" award.

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    2. I just sent you an email. (The way emails and snail mails go between Florence and Sheffield I thought I'd better mention it!)

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    3. I think Trump's cyber-detectives imagine we speak in secretly coded messages designed to bring down Trump Tower.

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  3. No matter how much you manoeuvre, it cannot be denied that we on this side of the pond do not speak English, we speak American English, which is different. We also don't say things like "fair dinkum" and "g'dye myte" (Australian English) or "faith and begorra" (Irish English). You had better get used to it. We're here to stay.

    And you are most welcome about World Wars I and II. Glad to be of assistance.

    Yank With Attitude

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    1. Re. the world wars, I guess it was a case of "better late than never" on both occasions.

      Mischievous English Gentleman

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  4. There are also the great "zucchini/courgette" and "theater/theatre" questions. I would suggest not considering these "errors" but rather "adaptations" by the Americans. Otherwise, having elected Trump, we will nuke you. (And I say that living in England and fully aware that I will be on the receiving end of the nuke!)

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    1. And I shall nuke West Hampstead with frozen Yorkshire puddings. Keep watching the sky Steve!

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  5. So, Mr. Pudding, my friend Marian and I want to know.....

    Considering that our ancestors made a big mistake in gaining independence from England, and given how we're suffering under Trump....would you all take us back? We promise to use proper British spelling and vocabulary!

    Hahaha!

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    1. Why the Hahaha! at the end Mistress Jennifer? When we take you back you must give up American football, Dunkin Donuts and Lady Gaga. Also the scoundrel known as D.Trump must be presented in irons with hair appropriately shaved off like a bowling ball.

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    2. I despise football, and Dunkin Donuts is TERRIBLE. As for Lady Gaga...I don't care about her one way or the other. So I shall fit in nicely. We can all gather to watch DT's impeachment and subsequent jailing on the television at your house. Deal? :)

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    3. Trumpy is famous for making deals but this will be the best deal of all.

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    4. I would also like to come back to GB. I love British television, especially Midsomer Murders. My city is being taken over by Scientologists and then we've got DT every freaking weekend on the other coast. And our governor is Skeletor.

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  6. Meanwhile, here in Canada we use a mishmash of England English and American English. I myself can never remember how I most recently spelled (not spelt! that's a grain) meter/metre, centre/center, theatre/theater, etc. so I just pick one and plow on ... And there's the whole "s" versus "z" business ...

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    1. Not "plow" you young hussy! It's "plough"!

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    2. Jumpin' ... never even thought about THAT one :)

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  7. Oh YP methinks you are flogging a dead horse here.

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    1. Methinks you are probably right Mrs Weaver.

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  8. Well, Pudding, I'm not sure there is a right or wrong on thee examples. I know as a Canadian, I'm supposed to use the British form but I usually use the american form. we see it all the time.

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    1. They have taken over your mind Red... like invaders from another planet.

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    2. Hey we're part of the invaders!

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  9. Just in the interests of further education, here for your delectation and probable amusement are the Australian translations of some of those words:
    Chips, to us means hot chips. "Potato chips" = crisps.
    I regret to say we use the Yankish "aubergine" and "zucchini". Sorry...
    We have footpaths here, not sidewalks nor pavements.
    We have neither downtown nor city centre. Here each of our cities has a CBD: central business district.
    We do agree with all of your spellings though. Well I do. Sadly today, too many kids seem to learn too much from thd i ternet and are becoming horribly Americanized. Not that I think for a second Americans are horrible, I just want all Aussies to be proud to be Australian.

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    1. In the Australian language does "thd i ternet" mean "the internet" by any chance Rozzie?

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    2. Rozzie, we Yanks do not say "aubergine" -- we say "eggplant".,,,

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  10. Oops, forgot to add that candy/sweets are lollies here.

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    1. Lollies? Here in The Motherland lollies are lollipops which was possibly your nickname when you were a young girl?

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  11. well for this Australian, crisps are called chips and chips are called hot chips (unless their heatedness is implied by context eg fish & chips)
    I cook eggplants and zucchinis. We used to live in flats but these days we have apartments that look a lot like a flat.
    sweets and candy are all known as lollies.

    I try my hardest to use English spellings but US spellings are so pervasive that sometimes American spelling is the default in my brain.

    As for Trump, well I think shite is spelled the same way everywhere

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    1. I am surprised about your last sentence Kylie! I hope it has Salvation Army approval. Surely, God loves Trump too?

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    2. haha it's probably not very Salvation Army approved. You know how God is our heavenly father? I think he is like a dad with a brat: He loves Trump but that doesn't mean He likes him

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    3. also, you got me!

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  12. What about the American use of " gotten" instead of " got" ? That really jars on me! There are plenty of Brits who can't speak/write properly as well......Bradley Walsh makes me cringe on" The Chase" when he says......" If you WAS to win the money....." . In this area of Herts. locals tend to say " I done it" rather than " I did it". So far I have managed not to correct anyone! Oh dear, you have got me started now!!

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    1. I also watch "The Chase" and have noted the cheeky chappie's misuse of "was". Perhaps we should start a new political party ahead of The General Election - The Proper English Party.

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  13. You've opened up a can of worms here - you pedant, you.

    Alphie

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    1. "Pedant"? I find that such a sexy word. Thank you Alphie... and in England it would be a tin of worms!

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    2. A tin of worms? It was a can of worms when I were a lad and it's a can of worms now.

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.