1 December 2016

Abuse

Andy Woodward - brave whistleblower re, sexual abuse in boys' football
Here in  Great Britain, a secret door has been pushed open. Beyond that door in the dank shadows of recent history, vile child abuse has been exposed. This awfulness happened at the behest of several perverted football coaches.. They took advantage of dozens of young boys and overpowered them with their careless lust.

We have seen ex-professional footballers on our television screens, revealing their terrible secrets. Some of them have been in tears. Such things are very hard to talk about - even when you are a grown man. How much harder it would have been to talk about such things when these tortured men were boys.

"How was the football practice Jimmy?"

"Oh fine mum but afterwards Mr Smith buggered me in the back of his Cortina."

It doesn't work that way.

I wonder if there are any other countries in the world that are as  diligent in their rooting out of past abuse as Great Britain seems to be. We keep delving into the shadows, pulling out the monsters when in so many other countries the secret door is double-locked.

I pause to wonder what turns a man into a child abuser. Surely they didn't just wake up one day stretching and yawning and thinking - "Oh I am bored. I think I will go out and abuse a child today." It would be instructive to learn about the backgrounds of these abusers and what made them so. Of course forgiveness would be absurd but it is arguably far too facile to view these predators as evil devils without stopping to consider their life journeys.. Are abusers born or made?

28 comments:

  1. Similar is happening here...the abuse and the discovery of same...no matter when it occurred...no matter how many years have gone by.

    The low-life bastards who perpetrate this despicable abuse get no sympathy from me. They disgust me more than words can describe.

    Just give me five minutes with the mongrels...they'd soon discover how much I despise them.

    And before you think of giving me a flippant response, Yorkie...I was sexually molested when I was a little girl by my stepfather when I was 4 and 5 years of age; and by another low-life a couple of years later...so I am within my rights to despise these non-humans. I know what I'm talking about.


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    1. And they come from all walks of life...there is no differentiation. We've just had this case here....

      Article from last week's "Courier Mail" (For the record from when this slime bag hit the scene back in the late 60s-early 70s, I'd never like him. In-built intuition, I guess)...

      Quote - "Paul Wilson trial: Criminologist guilty in sex case
      Kate McKenna, Kay Dibben and AAP, The Courier-Mail
      November 23, 2016 3:51pm

      A JURY has found high-profile criminologist Paul Wilson guilty of molesting a young girl at his home in the 1970s.

      The 75-year-old had pleaded not guilty to four counts of indecent treament with a girl under the age of 12, when his trial began in the Brisbane District Court last week.

      The jury retired about 11.30am Wednesday, returning just after 2.30pm with the guilty verdict.

      He was convicted of four counts of indecent treatment of a child on Wednesday after an eight-day trial.

      The jury of six men and six women reached unanimous verdicts.

      There were gasps from the packed public gallery as the verdicts were announced but Wilson showed no emotion.

      Judge Julie Dick will sentence Wilson at 11am on Thursday.

      He was released on bail.

      EARLIER: A JURY has retired to consider its verdict in the trial of a criminologist accused of molesting a young girl at his home in the 1970s.

      Paul Wilson, 75, has pleaded not guilty in the Brisbane District Court to four counts of indecent treatment with a girl under the age of 12.

      The jury retired about 11.30am to begin deliberations.

      The Crown alleged Wilson was in his bedroom with the girl, holding a cat over his penis, and invited the child to stroke his penis.

      The alleged victim also claimed she and Wilson were naked in bed in his house when he tapped his penis, which he called Percy, against her vagina.

      Wilson is also accused of sexually assaulting the girl after first playing a blindfolded game of hide and seek with her and another girl.

      The alleged victim claims Wilson also touched her on the vagina while they were in his home swimming pool, when other children were present .

      But Wilson, in testimony at the trial, denied all sex abuse allegations against him and described the sex game claims as “absolute fantasy”."

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  2. PS....Yorkie - I know my responses were lengthy (for that I apologise, but I give no apology for how I feel)....I can't help but be "vocal" when it comes to this subject. I get so riled up when I read and see reports...very angry. I'm sure you understand.

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    1. As I was never sexually abused myself, I cannot totally understand Lee but I have thought about this issue a lot, imagining how abuse impacts on victims and often blights their lives forever. I am so sorry to learn about the bad men who abused you when you were a little girl Lee. If I had been your father I would have killed them or arranged to have them killed by a third party. Your reaction to this subject is very understandable and I thank you for unbottling it.

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    2. I've nothing to hide, Yorkie. I was an innocent child...I was the victim and have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

      Thanks for your understanding. :)

      My greatest regret is I never had opportunity to meet up with him, eye to eye...adult to adult. That was what I held onto throughout my childhood. But the coward that he was died before I got my chance. He died when I was 16. How I'd loved to have dealt with him on my own terms...if you know what I mean! :)

      I've written about him in a post or two in my own blog.

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    3. Am sorry to hear about this, Lee. He sounds like some low-life in my eyes. I will have to search your blog and read about it.

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  3. We certainly don't have the ticket on any of sexual abuse. One of your comments about "I think I'll go out and abuse a child." tells it all. Abusers are not born or made. they've got some cutlery that is completely out of order.

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    1. Oh, I see Red. Cutlery in disorder? You mean to say they are mentally deranged?

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    2. There are short circuits somewhere and it's not good.

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  4. Words fail me YP. It is too awful to contemplate. But it occurs to me that these lads would all be so keen on football, and so desperate to make it to the top, that they would put up with almost anything in an effort to get there. It is only when they are older that they realise that it wasn't worth it and that they should have spoken out at the time. As to what makes a grown man - often married and with a family - behave in this way, I just can't begin to imagine.

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    1. Is it all about having power over others? Perhaps that is what gentlemen's clubs are all about too .

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  5. I've always suspected that substance abuse contributes to these cases. Adults get to drinking heavily, or worse, and their desires become twisted and they lose their moral compass. I'm sure that's not the only explanation, but I suspect it's a major factor.

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    1. Well I never considered that but no doubt you are right - at least about some of these awful cases.

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  6. I was not abused but know several people who were. Abuse makes a child feel dirty, worthless and ashamed and they think nobody will believe them or that they will be blamed. This carries on into the rest of their lives which is why it takes so uch courage to speak out. One person I know has been greatly helped by EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprogramming). It is widely used for trauma and is available on the NHS, although I can forsee that the already long witing lists will get longer.

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    1. I never heard about EMDR before Attila - never realised that this could be a way to tackle psychological trauma. Thanks for raising it.

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  7. I think abusers of children are born AND made. I think from a young age, these persons know that something within them is different. And when they first experience sex or stimulation, as we all agree a sexual encounter should be, with a consenting member of the opposite sex, they come to realize that such encounter is not what they want or that they want something in addition to that. Then, therefore, they plan their lives to be in a position where they can be in contact with young people, to have a certain power and hold over them and by being very calm and nice and grooming young people, they carry on with their unspoken crimes against children. These men, and a few women, are religious leaders, teachers, coaches, scout leaders, etc. Always around children. They can never be cured of their urgings, as the psychologists and doctors have said, but must be sought out and punished and spoken about so that the whole world is aware of how they craft their lives in order to be able to do what they do. The whole world must not look away. It is too important. All adults must be aware of the signs and signals and be willing to talk to their children about anything so that the child feels no fear in talking to the adult.

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    1. Sometimes it is hard to find the words. So many victims of abuse are asked "But why didn't you speak about this earlier? Why didn't you tell someone?" But how can you tell anyone when you are weighed down by shame and when you blame yourself for what transpired?

      Thank you for your interesting reflections on this shadowy subject. Let there be light.

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  8. Weaver is right when she says that youngsters would put up with anything to make it to the top.
    The terrible thing is that so many of the abusers are people who are in positions of trust. People youngsters are taught to look up to, and revere. In the past, children have not been believed, and these terrible abuses have been allowed to continue for the sake of appearances, or swept under the carpet.
    I cannot understand how any woman can participate in such diabolical actions against children.

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    1. Percentage-wise it all seems to be very much a man thing. The numbers of women involved are very few in number but there must be some bad, perverted women out there.

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  9. Here in Germany, we've had our share of child abuse cases coming to light in the past 10 years or so, especially at institutions such as boarding schools. They have received wide media coverage and I don't think there is anyone in this country who can truthfully say they are unaware of the topic.
    The Catholic church, involved in many (although not all) of those cases, have even installed a special commission after one institutional case of serial child abuse came to light. They went so far as to issue an official apology, if I remember correctly.

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    1. Oh dear, The Catholic Church - enforcing the word of God by abusing children. I know there are very many wonderful priests with goodness in their hearts and in their everyday conduct... but they must have known something. Why didn't they speak out?

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    2. YP you made a comment "Is it all about having power over others? Perhaps that is what gentlemen's clubs are all about too ." A desire for power over others occurs a great deal of the time and in every walk of life. I suspect that people who are perverted in this was use power as a means to an end and not the other way around. Either way it is beyond my comprehension. By the way your reference to gentlemen's clubs seems totally irrelevant (and rather offensive).

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    3. I don't understand why you find that link offensive. In the kind of gentlemen's clubs I am thinking of, young women gyrate around poles for money or sit on men's laps as twenty pound notes are squeezed between their breasts. Power and abuse.

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    4. Ah. I have never heard those kind of clubs referred to as gentlemen's clubs. So far as they are concerned I take your point. I went to one once 40 years ago in Edinburgh when a number of us were on our way back to our hotel from dinner. If I had wondered before then I never wondered again and I have never set foot in one since. Oddly that has reminded me of an incident when three of us (again in Edinburgh) popped into a pub in Rose Street for a spot of lunch. It was crowded. It took a while before we noticed amid the throng (usual for Rose Street pubs at lunchtime then) a girl dancing on the bar. As a friend remarked of the distinctly bored-looking girl "If she could earn the same money as a typist that is obviously what she would rather be doing."

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  10. These are very murky waters indeed. While it is true that many child abusers were themselves abused as children supports the made not born theory, that is probably too simplistic and answer. I'm only glad that systems in place make abuse far less likely today, at least where children are with strangers at school, sports or things like the scouts and guides. But family and friends remain the most likely abusers and it is very hard to do anything to prevent it except make children aware that it is wrong and they should tell someone if it happens.

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    1. Thank you for yet another thoughtful response Ian. Some things are almost impossible to tell.

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  11. Up until surprisingly recently, I think a blind eye was turned to a lot of 'abuse'. As a curvy teenage shop assistant, I had very inappropriate things said to me every day, and no one batted an eyelid - this was in the days of top shelf magazines. I hated it, it made me feel sick, but I never spoke up because the adults all seemed to think it was a bit of fun... I think my generation have now had children, and we wont tolerate it for our children...

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    1. You were being viewed as a physical object, not as a human being with an inner life. How awful to suffer that lewdness for so long Debdor.

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